Secret Agent Harry
by SecretAgentStephie002
Summary: Harry potter gets a letter from Dumbledoor saying that he needs to go to the Burrow. When he gets there he finds Ron and Hermione in a state. I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH HARRY POTTER


Secret Agent Harry  
Chapter1~~The Owls  
It was a dark and mysterious night at the Dursley's. Well, actually, it was quite a nice day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and there was a smell of flowers in the air. Dudley was in his room, secretly eating devil's food cake. He had been on the same diet for two years now and he still hadn't lost a pound. You'd think his parents would get the idea that they could make him look less like a pig-in-a-wig was to chain him to the wall without food for five years. I guess not, but enough talk about Dudley. There is a more important person we need to discuss, Harry Potter.  
Harry, as we all know, goes to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He is very unlike most boys (well, duh! He's a wizard) in that he didn't like to play video games or watch t.v. He liked to stay in his room, not bothering anyone so they wouldn't bother him (except Dudley, who would often poke his piggy head in the door just to get a good laugh at Harry), and to do his homework. He was so happy that his aunt and uncle let him do it. He told them that if he failed he would be kicked out of school and he would have to live with them for the rest of his life, which, of corse, was not true. Anyway, to the story.  
Harry was upstairs doing his homework (or al least trying to, Dudley was furiously chomping on a piece of cherry pie). He had a 20ft essay in Potions that he had to do for the beginning of school. It was on the five morphing potions. He had to find all of them and then define them and tell how they worked. Harry had five books for potions and he had only found one: The Isocilisesscaleneequilleteral Potion. It was the least difficult morphing potion he had ever seen, granted, he had only seen two, this one and the Polyjuice Potion.  
"The Polyjuice potion!" shouted Harry. "How could I forget? Ha, ha, ha," he chuckled to himself.  
"HARRY POTER!! You come known here RIGHT NOW!!" yelled uncle Vernon up the stairs.  
"Uh, oh. What did I do now?" Harry wondered as he went downstairs. Once he got to the living room he stopped dead in his tracks. All around the living room there were about fifty brightly colored owls. Pink, orange, yellow, blue, purple, any color imaginable.  
"EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" screamed uncle Vernon, his face turning a bright purple, almost exactly the same color as the one by the fireplace.  
"I-I-I don't know who did this, or who sent them," said Harry, trying not to laugh because one owl started pecking at Dudley.  
"What are you talking about 'them'? I'm talking about this," said Aunt Petunia, shoving a letter in his face. "This came in through the window. You better pray that the neighbors didn't see."  
Harry opened the letter and read it over and over trying to make sense of it.  
From The Department Of Hogwarts in the Ministry of Magic  
To Mr. Harry Potter: You are to travel to the Weasley's house on a broom stick. You will leave at exactly midnight tomorrow night. Make sure these owls surround you as you go. Further instructions will be given to you at the Burrow. Have a nice summer!  
Professor A. Dumbeldor  
"Oh! So that's what the owls are for!" exclaimed Harry.  
"Owls? What are you talking about, Potter?" asked Dudley, laughing at Harry's stupidity.  
"Don't you see them? The owls? What about that one that was.um.by you Dudley?" said Harry, for lack of a better word for pecking.  
"No. I thought those were stomach pains," he said.  
"Well," said Harry, "you sure are missing a sight!" He ran upstairs to collect his things for tomorrow. Harry herd the owls fluttering up behind him and aunt Petunia's screams as the china plated came crashing down.  
  
Chapter 2~~Going to the Burrow  
After Harry packed all his Hogwarts stuff in his trunk all he could do was think about what Dumbledor wanted to tell him. Maybe it was something about Sirus? Had Dumbledor found out how to communicate with him?  
Nock, nock, nock!  
"Who is it?" called Harry.  
"Lemmie in, Potter, or I'll break the door down!"  
"Well, it wouldn't be too hard for you," Harry said to himself as he went to open the door.  
"What is it?" asked Harry.  
"Gotcha!" yelled Dudley as he punched Harry in the stomach. Dudley tried to run away, but he didn't get far. It's hard to run with kankles. Harry talked Dudley to the ground and yelled, "Ooga booga!" Dudley ran away screaming.  
Three hours had passed now and Harry was getting ready to leave. The owls saw him and gathered around the broom stick. Harry looked in the mirror and to his surprise he didn't see anything. He kicked off from the carpet and flew through the window. The cold night air felt good on his face as he flew up through the clouds. He had to dodge a couple of birds, but the rest of the trip was fine.  
He landed in the Weasley's driveway and checked his watch. It was about 2:00 a.m. He thought that it might be too early and he wanted to wait, but he thought against it. He walked up to the rickety door and knocked three times.  
"Coming! Coming!" he herd Mrs. Weasley say. "Oh, hello, Harry, dear! How are you?"  
"I-I'm fine thank you." He said. He could smell something cooking in the oven, but he didn't know what it was. "Dumbledor told me that I would receive some information here," continued Harry.  
Mrs. Weasley frowned. "Yes, there is something you need to help us with."  
"Yes?"  
"It's Ron and Hermione."  
  
Chapter 3~~Ron and Hermione  
"W-what happened to them!?" asked Harry. "Are they alright?"  
"Yes, yes, Harry. They're fine. They're just, well, come and see." said Mrs. Weasley. She led Harry to Ron's room. When they walked in Harry couldn't believe his eyes. The room that used to be a bright orange was now silver and had pictures of.MARIO ON THEM!? Harry could see Ron sitting on the bed playing something that looked like a Gameboy. He didn't see Hermione.  
"This summer Ron visited some muggle friends of his and they let him play that.err.I don't know what it's called, but-"  
"It's a Gameboy," said Harry. He knew because Dudley had five, six if you included the one he tried to eat.  
"Yes, that's it. Anyway, he loved it so much that they let him keep it. He's been playing it ever since." She said.  
"Why don't you just take it away from him?" asked Harry.  
"Well, you'll see." she said as she made her way towards Ron. Mrs. Weasley reached out to grab it, but Ron hissed at her and muttered something like, "When I get out of Hogwarts."  
"See, that's all he does." She looked at Ron, "What do you mean when you get out of Hogwarts? You won't pass any classes with that stupid thing you're playing all the time!"  
"Well, the batteries are probably running low, and, oh, Mr. Weasley still has that collection of batteries, doesn't he?" asked Harry, frowning. "If he didn't the batteries would run low and the Gameboy wouldn't work."  
Mrs. Weasley cheered up. "I made Arthur get rid of those months ago!"  
"Well, then," said Harry, "you'll have nothing to worry about! Except, where's-"  
"Hermione?" Mrs. Weasley finished his sentence. "She's in Ginny's room. C'mon."  
Harry followed her down the stairs to Ginny's room where he could hear frantic talking. Mrs. Weasley opened the door and Harry, yet again, was stunned by what he saw.  
"Like, I know! Oh my gosh! Wasn't Cali, like, the funnest place ever?  
  
"Hermione?" said Harry, stunned.  
She was sitting on a cot with bright pink sheets and on her feet she had.PINK FUZZY SLIPPERS!?!  
"Like, hold on," she said. "Oh, hey Harry, like, I can't talk right now. My friend Jill is, like, totally trying to talk me into going out with this awesome guy, but I don't want to, for sure!"  
"She went to California over the summer and she hasn't stopped talking to her friend on that muggle thing," said Mrs. Weasley quietly to Harry. "Do you think you could help them.Ron and Hermione, I mean?"  
"I'll try."  
  
Chapter 4~~The Healing Process  
Harry got Ron and Hermione downstairs (despite Ron's efforts to bite him), when all of a sudden.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOOOOO!!" shouted Ron.  
"Will you, like, shut your noise hole? I'm trying to talk on the phone! Like, anyways." said Hermione.  
"I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ENTER THE CHINEESE SHRINE OF ZELDA WHEN THIS BROKE!" yelled Ron, shoving the Gameboy in Harry's face, and then chucking it into the fireplace where it smashed to bits.  
"Good thing, too," said Harry ("No, I will not go out with you no matter how much you beg!" said Hermione, covering her ears.)  
"G-good thing?" whispered Ron. "Good thing?" He paused, "My life is pointless." Ron sulked upstairs to his room.  
"Um.okay, I'll deal with you one at a time then. Uh.Hermione, can I talk to you?" asked Harry.  
"Yeah, ya got five minutes," she said, hurriedly.  
"No!" said Harry, getting mad. "I have all the time I want!"  
"Geeze, fine, have a cow!" she said to Harry. "Jill, yeah, my friend wants to talk to me. I'll call ya later, kzie? Love ya like a sis! Muah! Now, what do you want?"  
"Can.can I see that phone?" asked Harry, and seeing the look of distrust on her face, added, "I just wanna look at it, please?"  
"Aw! You poor thing!" said Hermione, hugging Harry. "Here ya go!"  
  
"Uh, thanks, Hermione." said Harry, now opening the cell phone as if  
to call someone. All of a sudden, Mrs. Weasley came out and shouted,  
"Over here, Harry!"  
Harry tossed the phone to her and she, like Ron and the Gameboy,  
chucked it into the fireplace.  
"WHAT DID YOU, LIKE, DO THAT FOR?!? DUDE! THAT IS LIKE SO NOT  
COOL!" yelled Hermione. She went into the corner and started rocking  
back and forth.  
"It's for your own good, Hermione," soothed Mrs. Weasley.  
"Now the healing process can begin," said Harry.  
It was now time for supper. Mrs. Weasley was whipping up a batch  
of cheesy potatoes and Hamburger Helper when Ron came downstairs,  
dressed all in black.  
"Hello, Ron.oh my goodness! What do you have on?!?" yelled Mrs.  
Weasley.  
"My life is pointless," was all he said.  
"Oh, dear," said Mrs. Weasley, frowning and Ron. He sat down,  
starred up at the ceiling, and said nothing.  
Hermione came in looking unusually happy.  
"Uh, Hermione, why are you so happy?" asked Harry. Mrs. Weasley  
looked away.  
She teased, "I know something you don't know!"  
  
Chapter 5~~ Ginny  
"Um.okay." said Harry. "Who's it about?"  
"Ginny, and it's not that she likes you." Said Hermione. "It's  
bigger than that."  
Um.okay, well, can you tell me what it is?" asked Harry.  
Hermione looked at Mrs. Weasley and she nodded her head and said, "You  
might as well, Hermione. If you don't want to, it's okay, too."  
"Alright, I'll tell you.Ginny is, like, a-"  
"Hello, Weasleys! Harry, Hermione, hello." Mr. Weasley had just  
walked through the door, looking extremely tired.  
"Oh, like, hi Mr. W! How are ya?"  
"I'm fine, thank you, Hermione."  
"Hello, Mr. Weasley." Harry turned to Hermione. "What was it  
that you wanted to tell me?" Mr. Weasley walked out of the room.  
"Oh, yeah. Ginny is a secret agent for the Ministry of Magic."  
"What!?" yelled Harry.  
"Settle down dear, we've only found out yesterday!" said Mrs.  
Weasley.  
"What did you find out yesterday? That I'm a secret agent?" said  
Ginny.  
"Oops, uh.I mean."  
"I already know. That's so cool, though! What do you do?" asked  
Harry.  
"I, um.well, it's kind of dumb, but I have to protest Barney  
from all the little kids. It's really dumb, I know, but it was the  
only job they had open," she said, blushing. Ron started to laugh  
really loud. Then he started singing, "I love you! You love me! We're  
a great big family!"  
"Shut up, Ron. At least I have a job," Ginny snarled.  
"Now that's enough! We should all be proud of Ginny," said Mrs.  
Weasley.  
Beep, beep, beep!  
"Oh! He's done!" said Mrs. Weasley.  
"He?" said Harry. Mrs. Weasley bustled over to the oven and took  
out a very small man.  
"Hello, Mrs. Weasley! How very wonderful to see you! Ronald! How  
you've grown! And.who are you two?" he asked, looking at Harry and  
Hermione.  
"I'm, like, Hermione, little dude! And this is my friend,  
Harry!" she said.  
"Pleased to meet you both!" he said, running up to them and  
shaking their hand. "I am Mr. Esnogcliiaslhs, but you can call me  
Bob."  
Uh.hello, Bob." Said Harry. Mrs. Weasley went over to him and  
whispered, "he's half leprechaun half African Penguin, and they get  
mad when they get cold, see?"  
Harry looked over and he saw that Bob's cheeks were getting red  
and he started yelling at people. Ginny rushed over to him and kicked  
him to Hermione, who passed him to Ron, who then drop-kicked Bob into  
the fireplace.  
"GOALLLL!" yelled Ron.  
"Wait, how do you know how to play football?" questioned Harry.  
"What's football?" asked Ron.  
"Um.never mind,' said Harry.  
It was a few days after the football event when they got their  
letters from Hogwarts  
"Oh, yeah," said Ron sadly, "there's only two more weeks before  
school starts."  
Well," said Harry, "we better make the best of it, shouldn't  
we?"  
"I've gotta go mum! Barney's almost done and those kids are  
swarming! They had Lamb Chop on the show today. Why did I have to pick  
a Lamb Chop day?!? I'm going to need tons of back up!" said Ginny,  
looking flustered.  
Harry looked at Ron and Hermione and mouthed, "Are you thinking  
what I'm thinking?"  
  
Chapter 6~~ A Day in the Life of Barney  
"Hey, Ginny, we could go with you!' said Ron.  
"Well, I dunno. Those kids can be pretty vicious; one of them bit me on my hand last time."  
"Well, um.please?" pouted Ron.  
"Fine, but," she looked at everyone, "there is a dress code."  
They came out five minutes later wearing pink shirts, purple pants, and green hats.  
"I am, like, such a fashion reject! I CLASH! And I do not look good in green!" complained Hermione.  
"Hermione, there's something different about you," said Harry. "I think you're turning back to the old Hermione."  
"I am?" she said.  
"Okay, everyone! Let's go!" said Ginny.  
"Barney! Barney! Barney! Barney!" the kids chanted.  
"Okay, now, all you have to do is stand around him so they don't go up and hug him. Make a big circle, there you go, now, out the doors on the count of three," Ginny raised her voice. "One-two-THREE!"  
They all ran around Barney and made their way to the limo.  
When they got there, Barney said to them, "Thanks a lot kids! That was super-de-doper! I love yo-" Ron had knocked Barney out with the same stone he threw at Lockheart in their second year. They all laughed for about ten minutes until Ginny realized that Barney had a concussion. They rushed him to the emergency room (Ron was laughing uncontrollably the whole way there).  
Half an hour later the doctor came out and told everyone that Barney would be okay and that he wasn't pressing charges. When the gang got home, they had seen Mrs. Weasley had bought all of their Hogwarts stuff. Harry's stuff was all washed and packed neatly in his trunk and a feeling of deep depression fell over Harry.  
"It's so sad, isn't it?" said Ron, moping into the room. "We have to go back to school tomorrow and all that. Well.we do only have two more years left." Harry nodded. "We better get to sleep."  
"Yeah. Night, Ron." The next day wasn't very eventful. Ron and Harry went downstairs to find Hermione and Ginny eating breakfast. "Morning everyone. Thanks Mrs. Weasley," he said as Mrs. Weasley slipped eggs, toast, and a Buzz Lightyear Pop-Tart on his plate. Breakfast was now over and Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Mrs. and Mr. Weasley got into the car. King's Cross Station was unusually packed as they made their way towards platform 9 ¾.  
"Okay, Ron and Harry you go first," Mrs. Weasley said as Ron and Harry ran through the barrier. "Now you two go..." she said to Hermione and Ginny. She and Mr. Weasley followed.  
Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione got onto the train after a good bye from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and found a seat. They started laughing about what they did this summer and about what they were going to do the next summer. The train started rolling away as they stuck their heads out the window to say a last goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. They all sat back down and started talking again, but not Harry. He was wondering about what adventures he was going to encounter this year at Hogwarts. 


End file.
